What Would You Say?

helping hands
photo courtesy bas van der pluym and freeimages.com

An increasing number of apparently distraught and confused people are leaving comments. In some cases, their comments include helpful insights and data, but many comments are simply pleas for help.

In a way, this site provides support to people who’ve experienced the Mandela Effect, because they can read the comments and realize they’re not alone and they’re not “crazy” just for noticing a reality change.

That’s as much as this site can offer without wading into dangerous waters, and topics that could sidetrack our conversations.

However, I’d like to include brief, generic advice from those who’ve experienced the Mandela Effect. I’m looking for insights from those who’ve come to terms with how odd the Mandela Effect can seem, not just to the person who’s experienced it, but to those around him (or her), and the strained conversations that can result.

So, for a couple of days, I invite you to leave comments… especially those of you who’ve been visiting this site for years, and understand how difficult it can be, to stumble onto these concepts and feel overwhelmed.

Here’s what I’d like:

  • Advice to someone who isn’t sure if the Mandela Effect is real.
  • Advice to someone who’s talked about this with friends and family, and those conversations haven’t gone well.
  • Advice to someone who feels vulnerable, or like a pawn in the sliding/reality-change process.

Please keep it brief. Ideally, most will be two or three sentences or — at most — short (100 words or less) “pep talks.” Do not include lengthy personal anecdotes, or anything more than vague references to others, your medical history, etc.

Speaking of medical issues, let’s avoid off-the-cuff prescriptions like “here’s an herb/vitamin/mineral that might help calm you,” or diagnoses like “You’re not mad/crazy/mentally ill.” (Seriously, you haven’t seen the many odd comments I’ve deleted.)

This post is now closed to new comments. Thanks to all who shared their advice!

SCROLL DOWN FOR READERS’ INSIGHTS.

30 thoughts on “What Would You Say?”

  1. I would say its like the The five stages of grief , denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. You can extend it to the world we lost, the changes even i have suffered this. Know that there are many others who are feeling the same loss of stability when the world has changed. But it gets better.

  2. I would suggest to such people that they contact someone like Cynthia Sue Larson at realityshifters.com. I don’t always agree with everything that she says, but she seems to have a bit better of a handle on this than most, and I think that she has helped some people with their shifts, as well. A lot of her message is stereotypical new-agey kind of stuff – like positive thoughts being able to change your reality, but, unlike most new-agers, she seems to have a much better understanding of quantum physics, and she has merged the two ideas to come up with a theory of how thinking positive can cause you to shift universes into a new one that is slightly better for you. Cynthia also claims to have had a number of these shifts, herself, resulting in many alternate memories. You should check her out, as well, Fiona, if you don’t already know her, because it might be useful to compare her theories to yours, and you might be able to get on her show, at some point, as well, to talk about your theories.

  3. When deciding to talk about Mandela effect with friends, throw out some feelers. Ask questions that make your friend THINK about a specific Mandela Effect that’s relevant to what your doing at the time. If they bite, you can build from there and then you have someone to discuss the Effects with. If they don’t bite, Leave It Alone, if you want to stay friends. Because this WILL put a strain on your friendship. Good friends will tolerate you. So don’t be a nuisance.

    You know your family better than anyone. You love your family very much. So, depending on how you personally feel about the Mandela Effect should be your guideline.

    Do YOU think knowing about the Mandela Effects and the things that go beyond the Effects are important to ones growth, heath, future and happiness?

    If not, choose wisely or not at all, stick with your friends.

    If so, throw out the feelers or play the victim. You know your not, but maybe when they try to help you, they notice something. If they don’t play along, just let them know they helped you and move on.

    Understand that no matter how much you love them, they are who they are for them. They are where they are for them. It’s their life. You don’t have to save anyone. If they understand that you have your weird hobby, all the better. Ask them if its ok to use them as a sounding board for the Mandela Effect topic. If they don’t like or resonate with the Mandela Effect, find another physical outlet for yourself. If that’s the case, the best thing you can do for your loved ones is be there for them and comfort them, if/when they do experience something. Other than that I recommend acting normal.
    Don’t lie, just be you without that discussion.

    If you are in a relationship where its not considerate to keep things from each other. Find a way to tell them what you are experiencing. It might hurt it might not, but if you don’t it will hurt you.

  4. HI Fiona!
    To newcomers of the ME, my advice is to go with their gut instincts& don’t be afraid.

    I gave up talking to close people about ME b/c I seem to be the only one in my world who experiences it or ADMITS to it being real. It can really mess with your head. I KNOW I’m right about these changes & people trying to convince me otherwise made me doubt myself. Now I keep it to myself & see if anyone else will catch up to where I am. Thanks again!

  5. When I first discovered this, I was amazed and in a bit of disbelief. I had to prove it to myself that it was real. The more I researched it, the more I noticed it around me. My advice to anyone is RESEARCH. Do your own research. Take every comment as a hypothesis. Don’t believe anything without first proving it to yourself. Many people may be wrong in their comments. You have to prove what is real and not real first. Because someone says something, does not mean it’s true. This should go for all things in life.

  6. I have noticed things along the way and wondered why they were different and had my world rocked in August, 2015 when I found this site. You may be reeling from shock. My advice is to keep close counsel with yourself and share this information selectively and carefully. Many people do not have the capacity to accept the possibility of various realities and many doubt their own memories. I do not share this with friends, nor do I discuss it at work. There are a few people in my family who are open to the possibility that something may have happened or be happening and the only one who is truly open is my teenage daughter. Use the site as a touchstone and realize that there are many intelligent, rational people who share your experience.

    1. I have noticed that my kids, late teens and early 20’s, are way more open to this concept. Especially the twins. In fact I was talking to one of them in the car and told her about knowing for sure I had seen Billy Graham’s funeral on TV, but recently discovered he is alive! She very matter of factly said, oh that’s just the Mandela effect. She was surprised I didn’t know about it. A couple of days later my oldest son called and asked what was new and I said, oh, I’ve just been reading up on this Mandela Effect theory. He said, yeah, that’s really interesting isn’t it? Again, it was as if it were common knowledge to him.

  7. Hello, Fiona!

    The tip I’d like to offer to people who feel that they have alternate memories and are struggling to find comfort and acceptance is actually the tip I feel applies to pretty much every stressful scenario in life: self-educate.

    For years, I’ve made a habit of reading news stories and books from a variety of sources that dealt with physics, astrophysics, religious and political histories, and archaeology. By paying attention to oddities and synchronicities that show up even in “mainstream” reports, I have non-personal examples that I can include in discussion with skeptics; and if someone is completely dismissive, I at least feel confident that I’m educated enough to have made a good point or two.

    After all, we can never change someone’s mind FOR them. We can only educate ourselves… then ponder, do some more research, be challenged by different-minded people, and eventually make up our own minds — yet if we’ve really done our homework, even the most linear of thinkers will grudgingly acknowledge that our conviction isn’t craziness — it’s an educated opinion. And for me, that brings peace.

    I never feel the need to convince someone that I “deserve” to be taken seriously… because I know I’ve done my due diligence and feel confident that even if I’m wrong… I might be right. Only time will tell! (ha! funny thing to say on this particular topic, I know!)

    And in regards to the sometimes sad or stressful alternate (or current!) memories… well, for that I turn from brain power to soul power. If we can accept that alternate timelines exist, and that we have the ability to transverse them… is it such a leap to embrace the idea that on some level we are willing participants in a wild and wonderful universe…? For me it’s not. And that helps me find peace and gain self-acceptance instead of worrying that I’m on the “wrong” timeline.

    Thanks as always for what you do, Fiona!
    Happy Holidays! 🙂

    J

  8. Don’t freak out if physical things change. It’s okay, it’s just part of the effect. I’ve had 50 year old paper maps change from one day to the next. And my hand-written journal entry for 9/11/2001 is significantly different than my memory of the day’s events, plus the changed entry has continued to change in minor ways over the last couple years. If you discover a physical change and are tempted to freak out, take a deep breath, and then say “OMG, that’s so cool!!” 🙂

  9. My Spirit Mom told me that the split in timelines was made in preparation for the world\’s \”end times\” events. (In other words, that there will be more than one way for the end-time scenario to play out.) Whether this explanation is true or not, it has indeed calmed my concerns over the Berenstein/Berenstain conundrum. Thanks for your site. I check it regularly and always enjoy new articles & posts!

  10. I would say ‘Ride The Wave’, the surreal is your friend. Reality is becoming more and more Unglued, that means it’s more flexible, and less rigid. We are experiencing an acceleration, and a mass-agreement-dissociation which shifts us from the illusion of the subjective to the joy of the subjective. You are the one at the wheel, so wake up and start steering it towards your unique joy.

  11. Two things. Neither will be popular but both are appropriate.

    One.
    Be pissed off. It is okay to angry – some a-grade jerks have been jerking with you PERSONALLY. Either by manipulating reality or lying to you about the nature of reality. There ARE humans who know EXACTLY what is happening and deem your trauma to be so trivial as to be nonexistant. Don’t blame yourself or think you are crazy – you are the sane one and some utter utter bastards wish you to be doubting your sanity. Be mad at those mongrels.

    Two.
    Laugh. Make fun of it. It’s all you can do and it’s the best thing you can do. Humour works on many levels and vital in addressing this thing.

    (oh and if you are a curious type read read read learn learn learn form a variety of sources to make sense of it – if not, resist the urge to hitch your wagons onto one theory of what is causing this)

  12. Welcome to a “brave new world”. 😉

    — Advice to someone who isn’t sure if the Mandela Effect is real:
    * ask yourself what “real” actually means to you in the first place;
    * ask yourself how this affects anything any differently from the ways in which you’re already used to things changing (i.e.: things normally change in any event, by various mechanisms, so is this possibly-new set of changes truly so far from what “should” be real to you, vs. merely an unexpected “new” method).

    — Advice to someone who’s talked about this with friends and family, and those conversations haven’t gone well:
    * over time, whomever you’ve talked with will likely let it slide;
    * figure out what might have made the conversation go more smoothly, or if someone else might have been more receptive.

    — Advice to someone who feels vulnerable, or like a pawn in the sliding/reality-change process:
    * things seemed relatively stable before, but ask yourself if they are now any less stable (in a deep sense) than they had been before you’d noticed these anomalies (if these anomalies have been occurring prior to your noticing them, then the only significant difference now is that you’re aware of them);
    * cataloguing things can be obsessively spiraling or helpful, depending upon the individual and circumstances, but it’s one way to try to get a handle on matters
    * N.B.: computer notepad and/or spreadsheet, muscle-memory of hand-written notes, artistic depiction in paint / clay / song / iambic pentameter (I prefer heptameter), somehow associating scents and flavors with particulars (these are arguably our most powerfully evocative senses) — even if these change, you will still have performed your preferred method of annotation, committing it to memory, thus reassuring yourself and better ensuring a greater degree of clarity and recall thereof.

  13. Read up on the ME, parallel universes, reality shifting, and quantum physics. I mean thoroughly research. Reality shifts are extremely confusing and disorienting so try not to make too much of it all. Personally I’ve never found anyone to discuss this with, but I’m OK with that. I just keep my odd experiences to myself. I have found that my reality (and that of my immediate family) greatly improves by keeping a very positive attitude, and waking up grateful every day. True gratitude has really improved our lives

  14. One way to find out who will be sympathetic to your observations is to put out feelers on your social media sites, like Twitter and Facebook. “Hey, I just heard that so-and-so died. Am I the only person who remembers him dying years ago?” or “I could have sworn New Zealand was located farther [north, west, south, whatever],” or “What the heck is Svalbard?? I don’t remember that place in 6th-grade geography class.” The responses you get could tell a lot about which friends will be understanding. It helps to make friends with people who are a little bit weird to begin with, or into the supernatural, because they’ll be most likely to listen without laughing.

    Just go with the flow. I know that’s a cliche, but you can’t do anything to stop all these bizarre changes, so it helps to accept that they are happening, that they are significant, that they are telling us a message that we need to hear…whatever that may be. If you want to feel more in control or on top of things, keep a diary–not just in words, but in pictures. Make it a scrapbook, and keep all kinds of information in it, such as maps, a catalog of red/blue logos, and newspaper articles about any events that are likely to undergo a future change (the deaths of celebrities, for example, or the dates of major catastrophes and terrorist events). This will help you to remember things as they are in the present reality, so you’ll be more likely to notice if they change. Maybe if we all do this, we’ll start to see patterns.

  15. Someone here said something that helped me, despite the fact that I am not religious (and if you need to replace any names or terminology with whatever you believe, it still has meaning.) These changes we are seeing can be considered a kind of miracle. God is showing them to you for a reason, even if the only reason right now is for you to see that miracles happen.

    Wherever you are on your journey, gratitude is important, and authenticity is important. I think it is important for you to be able to look inside yourself, and listen to your inner voice, follow your instinct, for you to be able to decide for yourself what is or isn’t true. No one else can tell you.

    I do not know for myself yet, whether looking for and cataloguing changes has any value or usefulness, besides just proving to each individual, that the change is possible. It may also be a starting point to further research on many related topics. But, if it is not healthy for YOU, take with you what is positive from it that you can, and keep walking your path.

  16. If you want to ask people and maybe direct them into thinking that mandela effect is real, ask them questions in the form of a joke.. sort of hey i could have sworn it was berenstein bears.. but its stain that is very peculiar .. isnt it.. why would i remember it so different.. or heres a quiz question for you.. what is the famous quote in star was said by darth vader to Luke.. heres a hint many people get it wrong.. that way you are saying lots of people do.. then you can go onto other questions..Or what was that book about the bear family called its slipped my mind..

    One thing i have noticed is that even within our mandela effect community we have different memories some the same, from our views our timeline/world line is valid.. but so is theres.. so you cannot say yours is the only version of mandela, just like the mainstream people saying there is just that world.. at least i hope people on here will understand that all worlds are equally valid, there is no definite wrong/right answer as we are talking about so many different lines.. whats true in mine may not be true in yours.. doesnt mean you are wrong or i am right we both are.. Dont get stuck into of single mode of thinking as right or wrong, a or e, or so on.. for all we know theres a bernstein, bernstain, berenstain, berenstein, and as many other versions as we can imagine. My line isnt the only line but its just as valid as yours..

  17. My advice to anyone feeling disturbed or disoriented upon finding out about the Mandela effect: if you are like me, you could be reeling from shock, even feeling physically ill, losing sleep, crying. It can be very unsettling, but you will learn to accept it, and with that acceptance comes a new appreciation of the wonder of life, the universe, and the mysteries therein.

    For me, it has also brought peace of mind to know that my memory is not in fact very bad. I’ve become sort of a joke in my family- the one with a horrible memory. Finding others here who share my memories is a comfort and reassurance that my brain is ok, I am ok. Some of the comments others have posted here are so matching my memories that I could have written them myself. Trust your memories. Do your research, but those things you KNOW and you (were) so sure you would bet your house on- trust yourself on those. They happened.
    I also enjoy thinking that somewhere, sometime, there is another me living out a scenario in which I made a choice that I regret not making here, in this reality. It’s helped me move past regret at what might have been, because I feel that I must be living it, somewhere/sometime else. It’s kind of awesome.

  18. It seems frightening. It seems disturbing. When you first realize that reality is not what you always thought it was. You always had an anchor and now suddenly it’s gone. At first, you feel lost and adrift. But then, as you start to accept it, you realize: there is power here. Fabulous potential power to take control of your own reality. It really is like Neo discovering the Red Pill. You might have been trained to helplessness and dependence all your life, and so you initially fear that “they” are “doing something to you”. Thus all the conspiracy theory type explanations. Then you start to understand: it’s much more likely that you are shifting, have been shifting, but you didn’t know you were shifting, let alone how. And so you couldn’t control it. But knowledge is the key. Learn to understand it, and you can learn to control it. Like when you were an infant and you were just carried everywhere helplessly. That time ended when you learned to crawl and walk. Think of reality shifting as a fabulous new ability and make it your mission to learn to control it.

  19. The best advice I can give on dealing with The Mandela Effect is STAY STRONG. Our memories are tricky and they can be faulty, but we are NOT wrong on most of this stuff. It’s too much and there’s too many of us. Our reality has been manipulated, there is no question about it. Keep talking and stay strong if you run up against a super skeptic. This is a game changer and more questions loom. We must stick together in order to find any peace within this chaos.

  20. Immerse yourself in the alternate “realities” of fiction — movies, books, television. Remember, we are all confronted with many situations beyond our comprehension and control. Stay healthy and positive and generally keep your shit together. It will make your story more credible. Take notes.

    On a separate topic, I wonder whether it would make sense to plan a face-to-face meeting? Perhaps in one or more major cities. It is incredibly powerful to know you’re not alone.

  21. I’ll simply mention that there are teachings that deal with parallel universes and how they affect the real world, and leave it at that. If they want to ask more, then I’ll start sharing and point them here for starters.

  22. After your initial shock, you’ll find yourself eager to learn more and hear other people’s experiences. My advice is to dive in and research the subject as much as you’re able and feel ready to. There’s a great subbreddit on Mandela Effect, the Above Top Secret forums have several threads on the subject, particularly “dead people who are alive again” and geographical oddities, there’s a couple of Facebook groups and someone above me mentioned Reality Shifters. Simply putting in a few key words into Google will also give you some deep rabbit holes to explore.

    It can be more than a little disconcerting and disturbing to feel as if your reality has become unglued around the edges, but I think the best way to deal with all of this is to educate ourselves. Knowlege is power.

  23. Okay, I just want to point out a sort of meta-observation: In my old reality, The Mandela Effect did not even exist. This all started happened very recently. I’ve noticed minor changes from time to time in the last two years, but never before! All in just 2-3 years. And secondly, the timing corresponds with the start of 11:11 in my life. For me personally, it all started in 2011. All of it. Prior to that, I don’t remember any of this stuff being even a remote consideration. So, my advice is, tread lightly. Start with the 11 mystery. Its a safe bet everyone here also has that in common.

  24. I woke up in 2013. I noted the BEAR change only about a year ago…now I see so many instances.
    FIRSTLY, feel the anger of betrayal –but then feel BLESSED. There is a REASON that only “people like us” can discern this shift as we do. I let it go for about 6 months…then checked into it just this week again and SO MANY MORE INSTANCES. Its funny, but now I will mention off the cuff to someone, “So did you like the Peanuts comic strip growing up? Then I will ask them ” how did you remember the creator’s last name being spelled as??” YOU just may be the catalyst in “waking” someone else up. . . that fact alone keeps me motivated in this QUEST !

  25. My advice in talking to other people would be, know your audience. I’ve talked to a few people about my ME discoveries. The reaction has ranged from total acceptance and collaboration in identifying events (my husband, with whom I share a number of alternative memories, although we each have a few that the other doesn’t) to acceptance without the ability to positively identify a single alternative memory (one of my siblings) to outright denial and giving the common, vague “it was just a mistake” excuses for any alternative memories the person posses (another family member). I’ve learned that like any other “alternative” theory, you have to know your audience and be careful who you bring it up to. I’d talk paranormal phenomenon with my husband, and with my sibling. I wouldn’t with the other family member. Telling someone that you have memories of an existence different from our current one is a lot like telling someone you have memories of a past life or that you’ve communicated with an entity that doesn’t inhabit our physical realm…some people will violently deny it for religious reasons, and some for “scientific” ones.

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